March 2010
10 posts
I love you. Why am I away from you. I miss you so much MitchellHill
“Pride can stand a thousand trials The strong will never fall But watching stars without you My soul cries Heaving heart is full of pain Oooh, oooh, the aching”
Deseree- kissing you.
Sums it up. My heart is broken at best.
You only get one life.
Living it without you for these months is killing me.
Do I call and tell you or stay quiet and continue thinking your life is better without me (which no doubt it is)
I think i’ve grown up now.
Today has been such an insanely hard day.
Rest in peace Grandma, two years has gone so slowly without you and I miss you more everyday. Grieving is so horrible, and i’m grieving for not only the loss of my grandma but for losing her as well. If I could have a wish right now it would be a knock on my window with you standing there with wine and billy madison and cuddles and you telling me...
Time to watch Marley and Me and cry.
I seem to be punishing myself alot with reminders of you these last two weeks.
Three and a half years today. I wish I was good enough for you.
I’d call you up right now and tell you everything that’s in my heart.
But I’m still not. I’m trying though. I am so afraid I’ve fucked it up so much that when I am good enough you won’t care to even look at me anymore,let alone anything else. I pray you don’t hate me.
I’m sick of being...
I need you
and I miss you
and talking about you all night has left me a broken heap in this bed.
I’m wearing the dress you brought me for my birthday. It somehow feels comforting, like a cuddle from you having it wrapped around me. But I’d also like to cry very much.
Another sleepless night thinking about you.
This hurts so much, but even if I knew I was good enough now, you wouldn’t have me back.
February 2010
8 posts
l wonder if you are thinking about me too
It is almost unbearable when someone mentions monkey and balloons, or turtles, or quotes Billy Madison, or compliments something you brought for me, or asks who is that person in the picture on my wall, or talks about heartbreak.
And it is just devestating walking into a room with someone wearing curious.
Why does everything have a connection with you? It is literally breaking my heart. I...
It would have been 3years, 5months today.
I am so very sorry. I hope you at least feel comfort in the knowledge I feel physical pain every day because I miss you so much. I think about you every night before I sleep. I spend every day restraining myself from sending you a text, or making contact somehow- all because I never want to cause you pain again.
I know this is for the best, in my head...
I’m going home next weekend.
I’m looking forward to seeing my sister and my mother, and (yes I know I’m sad) my snake and the kittens. And yet still I have this…..sinking feeling about it all. University has given me such a safe haven in that I can (roughly) be myself 24/7, I can smoke and drink and lead my own life. When I was home last time, there were certain...
Gems, I miss you more than my heart can take
Introductions.
Dear…you,
I feel shit. I’ve coughed so much my ribs feel as though each bone secretly has some kind of shiv pressed up against the inside of my chest. At least I have good housemates who feed me cough syrup and come in drunk at silly’o’clock to keep me company when I cant sleep.
Im sorry, but this blog is just going to be a way to say the things I wish I...